Phew! Finally out of work. Today’s special. You’re driving to Uttara for a long-awaited catch-up with a school friend. Jazz playing in the car, you’re humming with it, while managing to rip through the shitty traffic.
Peeking at your map to find parking, a loud honk snaps your attention. In the rearview: a Crimson Toyota, flashing and honking at you, desperate to slip ahead. You give him space. The face! How he scowls as he passes you!! and then speeds away…
You park, embarrassed. Your mood is ruined. You’re the idiot who was driving slow on a busy road. You end up taking it personally.
Thing is, it’s not really about you. You slowed down ‘someone’, and he was pretty irritated. You’re just ‘some idiot’ driving a bit slow for him, who he’ll forget in 50 meters. He would’ve had the reaction for a rickshaw, a bus, or a cat the same.
We do this quite often, spinning intricate spider webs of “Why me?” and placing ourselves at the center of others’ bad days. I’ve known people to take it to extraordinary lengths, ultimately to suffer from their own thoughts. Most of these don’t even matter enough to take it personally. Just remember. It’s not a character flaw, it’s a choice.
Choose ‘you’! Choose ‘self-reflection’, not suffering!!